Stuck with a challenge or can’t make a decision? Ask your future self - through this powerful self-dialogue practice

Ask one of your best advisors - the older, more mature, and wiser version of you. Here’s how.

It may sound like a concept from a movie, but it’s surprisingly real. And it’s possible to get deep, transformative insights through this interaction with the version of ourselves who isn’t trying to impress, rush, or prove. Just wise, clear, kind.

The process

1. Find a quiet, private space where no one will interrupt or hear you.

2. Place an empty chair in front of you and put a pillow on it.

3. Invite your older self to sit there. This version of you is at least 10 - 20 years older, and has grown wiser—more rooted in what really matters. (You can also invite a version from a distant future or another lifetime if that resonates more.)

Before we go further, a warning: this practice can bring gold - or cold.

Gold comes when we connect with a version of ourselves that’s more attuned to our Higher self. If “higher self” sounds too woo-woo, just think of it as a version of you who acts from love rather than fear, from integrity rather than appearances.

The risk is projecting parts of ourselves that are not so wise - like the cold, grandiose voice of entitlement, or the harsh tone of the inner critic pretending it knows it all.

So here’s the litmus test:

How does it feel when this wiser version speaks?If it feels warm, loving, caring - and implementing its advice would uplift both you and those around you - keep going.

But if it feels arrogant, cold, obsessed with being right or powerful, or disconnected from the heart - pause. Restart the practice. This time, invite an even older version of yourself. And ask that your loving heart and gratitude guide the connection.

Next steps, step by step

1. Feel the presence. Before saying anything, just sit and sense the energy of this wiser self.

2. Ask the first question aloud. Speaking out loud makes it real - more than thinking silently.

3. Switch seats. Move to the other chair. Take a deep breath. Step into the shoes of your mature self.

4. Respond aloud, as them. Let the words flow without overthinking or filtering. Trust what comes.

5. Return to your seat. Repeat their answer aloud: “I hear you said…” Let yourself feel the response.

6. Ask the next question. Continue the dialogue, switching seats and perspectives as needed.

Questions to ask

Use the ones that resonate—or create your own:

• What is my soul learning through what I’m experiencing?

• What am I not seeing right now?

• What is holding me back?

• What have I not yet forgiven myself for?

• What is the oldest unresolved pain I still carry?

• What illusions am I living with? (Illusion = a false belief we treat as truth.)

• What’s the boldest next step I can take?

• How would I act if I truly embraced my power?

• How can I feel when I’m on the right path?

• What brings you joy, in that future?

• What really matters to you?

• What did you finally realize about life?

• How did you become so internally free?

• How did you grow your inner strength?

Bonus: music to deepen the experience

This playlist can help you deepen the experience:Wiser Self Dialogue - Tidal Playlist

If you do the exercise, I’d love to hear how it went. You can message me on LinkedIn or Instagram.

We rarely think of our future self as someone we can actually talk to. But once we do, we realize: that wise version is available to us - just on the other side of our willingness to listen.

Farhad Niyoz, CEO of Cocoon